Just a Girl Named Cate

So it's been a while since I take some time to blog, but I have a good reason. Things at work have been sensational, and I am very, very excited about the new project I'm working on. Although I can't get into any details at this time, I can say I am working on something I've always dreamed of doing. 2010 is going to be great, and I promise I will be able to provide more details soon.

I can't believe this year is almost over, and what a year it's been. When I think about where I was this time last year and where I am now - and more specifically everything that happened for me to get here - I am reminded of a quote one of my friends would always tell me. "We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us." I don't know if the life I was living was something I ever planned, but I love going into this new year with a plan of what I want to do and who I want to be. I don't ever recall feeling this excited about a brand new year, and it's such a great feeling to have. Perhaps my friend Vic is right ..... I am finally growing up.

Happy New Year, everyone!!!

I love my days off. I love being able to sleep in and take my time in the morning. I love sitting out on the porch in my jammies, drinking coffee and reading the paper. This morning was warm and humid (not exactly my favorite), but it was nice watching the people walk by on their way to work or school.

I don't know what I am going to do today. I may venture uptown or to the Garden District. It feels like forever since I go that way. There are a couple of books that have been staring at me from my nightstand. Maybe I'll take some time to crack one of them open.

It's funny because you would think that with a day off there'd be less stress. However, trying to figure out what to do instead of just sticking to the normal routine is pressure enough. Should I do this? Maybe I'll go do that. Or maybe I just won't do anything at all today. I'm still in my PJ's and my bed is so very comfy. Hmmmm......

Wow. Has it really been over a month since I post something? I really need to do a better job of trying to keep my blog current, but having this new job keeps me busy and I am finding I have a lot less time on my hands than I did before. It's not overly crazy, and I really love what I am doing. It's just that when I wrap up work, I grab a bite somewhere in the Quarter (I love, love, love the Redfish grill), come home and just crash. I feel like I barely have time for Facebook and stuff like that. Still, I am very happy with how things are going.

Well, that's not entirely true. I mean, I am happy and I never would have guessed I'd find myself here. Still, I've been a little down lately. It's so silly when you think about it, but life is silly that way. I was hanging out with some friends down by the Riverwalk and one of the people in our group mentioned she's going on an Elvis cruise. I thought this was peculiar and it got me thinking about when I visited Graceland this summer. Of course, it also got me thinking about who I was with when I went to Graceland and how I have not seen nor heard from this person in quite some time. I hadn't really thought about him too much since I moved back home, but when I do it's kinda' sad. I try to live my life without any regrets, but when I look back on a lot of things, especially what happened this summer, I can't help but think what if.

I hope he's doing okay and deep down inside I wish he knew I was thinking of him.

So I've got my first full week of work in at the gallery. It's been a good experience but it's not exactly what I was thinking it was going to be. I was hoping to do more with customers and artists, but I am mostly working in the back doing admin stuff, simple book keeping and lots and lots of cleaning. Oh well, I guess it's a start.

It is nice, however, to have something to occupy my days. We also have famous people stop by the gallery from time to time, and that's always pretty neat. Still, I hope things pick up in terms of me learning more about the actual business of running a gallery and meeting several of the artists who have their works on display with us.

With the job and football season right around the corner, things are very exciting. GEAUX SAINTS!!

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! All I can say is Yeah!!!!

I got the call today and I got the art gallery job I interviewed for last week. This is so great because I can finally hang up the waitress apron and start doing something I love. I will be working all day with and surrounded by art! How awesome is that?

I am really excited and this really feels like a new beginning for me. It's funny because lord knows what I would be doing if I were still in Levittown. The thought of that just makes me shudder. I miss some of my PA friends, but I know being home in New Orleans is where I need to be right now.

I am looking forward to saving up some more money so I can go pick up the stuff I left back in Levittown and then, hopefully, get into my own place. But one step at a time for now.

I met up with an old friend this evening over burgers at Port of Call (Seriously, no one has better burgers anywhere!), and we got caught up after many years of not seeing or hearing from each other. We'd kept in touch off and on following high school, but I hadn't heard from her in well over 18 months, and I am so happy we got together tonight.

I love getting caught up with people, especially when they have such good news to share. In the case of my friend, she's close to completing her Masters program at Tulane, and I think it's great she's realizing her dream. Talking to her got me very inspired about my dreams and goals, and with my interview today at the gallery (I really think I aced it!), I am feeling as excited and full of inspiration as I have in a long time.

I want to paint and draw and create and just be so expressive. I love feeling like this and I can't wait to get started with this new me. It's going to be exciting!

....p.s. Please keep your fingers crossed for me with the gallery job. I hope to find out by the weekend.

The Quarter was over run with teens today. Apparently, there's a religious convention of mostly teenagers and they were all being very touristy in and around the streets where I live. I think it's great that they're here. Lord knows New Orleans can use all the tourist money it can muster. But it was all so hectic and crazy and made me want to just come inside, shut my door and paint.

I ended up painting something different this evening. I think it was inpired by all the hullabaloo just outside. I looked at those kids that are visiting New Orleans, many, I'm sure, for the first time, and I see nothing but hopes and dreams in their eyes. In many ways, I admire that becuase I know I never had that when I was their age. I like to think I understand it better now, and I feel excited thinking about where I want to be and what I want to do. Hope is a good thing, I guess. But it's something I'm still getting used to.

I thought coming home was a good idea, a good chance for me to reset and start over. Although being back home has brought back lots of good memories, it's definitely come with it's share of frustrating moments. I'm finding people all have an opinion as to what's best for me. This is even coming from people I barely know! It's always, "What are you going to do now?" or "You should consider doing this." Newsflash: I don't want your opinion, people!!!! It's one thing when when you go out and ask someone for their advice, it's another thing when you're just having conversation and the person across the table from you becomes an instant career expert.

If there's one really good thing is that I am finally finding a groove - I think - with my art. It's even weird for me to call it 'my art', but me painting or drawing is not like it was before. I am getting more comfortable with the idea that this is what I 'do', and I am learning to take pride in what I do and not just hide behind it. But this doesn't mean I want you or anyone else telling me what I should be doing as an artist. Let me just enjoy this.

Whenever a Monday rolls around, I feel the need to make a list of things I should be doing or need to do. Lately I've been thinking a lot about the stuff I left behind in Pennsylvania and how or when I will be able to make it back up there to get it all. Still, I think about making a list of things to do and nothing ever happens.

I still feel like I am settling in being back home in New Orleans, but there's also a sense that I am missing something. My road trip this summer got me thinking about a lot of things including how precious time is and how eveything can change in an instant. I see now how fleeting some of my decision making has been in the past, and I want to change that going forward. I think the thing is I don't know exactly how to do that.

Maybe today will be the day I start toward that change. We'll see what happens.

I wasn’t sure if I wanted to do this, but ever since returning to New Orleans, I’ve been thinking quite a bit about where I was and how I got here. So I finally broke down and decided to keep a journal.

Being home is okay, but there are some things I can do without (like the fact my mom hasn’t changed a bit). Still, there’s something about staying in my room that’s comforting. I dusted off my old art kits and began painting again. People keep telling me my art is really good, but I don’t know. It does help me keep my mind off certain things and certain people, so that’s good. And I realized that I can paint and draw without having to be upset first. So right there that’s a positive, right?

I still don’t know what I want to do or if New Orleans is the place to do it in, but after this summer I am really happy to be taking a time out here at home. I guess I need to figure out a way to get my stuff that’s back in Pennsylvania, but I’m not going to worry about that right now. Right now I want to keep on painting and fall in love again with this beautiful city. I really missed it.